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We depend on “signs:” road sings, computer icons, or little heart signs on menus that tell us what is healthy to eat. Did the people recognize the signs John, the Baptizer, was giving to them? His father, Zachariah, was a priest. John should have been a priest, wearing priestly clothing and eating a kosher priest’s diet. Instead he was wearing bizarre threads and eating an eccentric diet. Some recognized these signs and went out to the desert to listen to John. Jesus will give us signs of who He truly is. Will we see them?

St. Mark tells us of John’s message “to get His road ready!” Look at the road preparation work at the corner of Davidsonville Road and Central Avenue. In our spiritual lives are we preparing His road or our own? Do we have the equipment we need? Are we taking His coming seriously?

This is the season to look into oneself and to use the tools God has given us to prepare Him room! What is a major individual issue of our times? For two decades psychologists and psychotherapists state that because of our “individualistic society” narcissism is the most common personal disorder. They maintain it applies to all regardless of age, gender, or social status.

The essential feature of narcissism is a grandiose sense of self-importance. They exaggerate their accomplishments or talents. They expect to be noticed as “special.” Because of their “specialness,” their problems are unique, and can be understood only by other “special people.” Often this sense of self-importance alternates with feelings of unworthiness.

In his book, “The Depleted Self; Sin in a Narcissistic Age,” Donald Capps describes four types. These may be painful to hear as you may think of a family member or friend as you listen to this. Not to fear! If we recognize others or one’s self in this reflection then pray for the “baptism” of healing and His life. If none of this “hits home” then we really do need to worry! Why? Because “a died in the wool” narcissists can never recognize his or her behavior. He or she can only see others’ faults.

It appears on “the outside” that a narcissist only loves ones’ self. In reality their behavior covers their inner shame or self-contempt. They lack true self love.

The “craving” narcissist is clingy, demanding, often pouting and whining. They act as though they constantly expect to be disappointed. Because of their extraordinary neediness, disappointment comes frequently. The true “neediness” for this person is their self-esteem. No amount of satisfaction can satisfy them. Their hunger for emotional nourishment is like a bottomless pit.

The “paranoid” narcissist is characterized by hypersensitivity, rigidity, unwarranted suspicion, jealousy, excessive self-importance, and a tendency to blame others and ascribe evil motives to them. They lead active and productive lives, especially in vocations where skepticism, suspiciousness, and criticism are important. This type projects self-contempt onto others. Unable to endure the contempt they have for themselves they project it outward. Unable to love themselves, they assume that others are feigning love for them or that their spouse is cheating on them.

The “manipulative” narcissist likes to “put something over” on others. This is a conscious (not subconscious or unconscious) process. They plan and execute this by first gaining someone’s trust. When the manipulation succeeds this one expresses disdain for the victim. They say to themselves, “he/she was “gullible, naïve, or a pushover.” “They’re not tough enough for this dog eat dog world.” Thus the manipulator views his/her unprincipled behavior as justified and it is the trusting victim, not the narcissist, whose character is flawed!

The “macho” narcissist needs to parade his masculinity. They tend to be exhibitionists with feats of reckless daring in order to prove their power. Arrogance is the major factor. The body becomes the instrument for acquiring attention, admiration, and influence over others. Remember Greek mythology; it was Narcissus’s physical attractiveness that held Echo in thrall. This is the most obvious and blatant display of self-love to observe. But in reality, just like all other narcissists, the truth is that they profoundly lack self-love. All are ways used to overcome a sense of self-contempt or shame.

As we wait for His coming, what sort of people must we be? Let us be holy in our conduct and devotion, without defilement and at peace in His sight. By His baptism of grace may He fill the valleys of self-contempt or shame with His love, may He level any mountains of pride. Pay attention to the signs of “craving, paranoia, manipulation, or over importance of the body.” How can there be room for Him, if all this is going on inside?