Return to Holy Family Church Home Page
On one Sunday afternoon, after a series of talks on marriage the pastor of a small parish decided to give out wooden crosses to each married couple. He told them to place this cross in the room in which they fight the most and when they start to fight, look at the cross and recall God’s commands, and they won’t argue as much. One couple came up to Father after the service and said, “You better give us five crosses”
Isn’t it true that if married couples could stop fighting, then their chances of having a happier marriage would increase a hundredfold? There are so many reasons why people get married. And I suppose there are just as many reasons why they divorce. Unfortunately, too many people fail to consider marriage from a religious point of view. This is sometimes even true of Christians who do believe. There is no doubt in their minds about being joined with each other, but when a man and a woman marry, do they also think about being joined with Christ.
This is precisely what Jesus is talking about when he addresses the question asked by the Pharisees. Jesus directs them back to creation, to the book of Genesis. He reminds them that God, not man, created male and female, a deliberate and unique act of God; a suitable partnership, one in union with each other and God. Not to be separated!
We come before God, in God’s house to receive the sacrament of matrimony. We state our intentions; we vow to freely give ourselves to each other in marriage, to honor each other as man and wife for the rest of our lives. We promise to be true to each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, all the days of our life. And then we receive God’s blessing, and we are reminded that what God has joined, man must not divide.
If we think in terms of becoming a sacrament not merely receiving one, marriage becomes an outward sign of the love of God. Spouses are able to open themselves to each other in love because God has first loved them. When we become one in marriage, we create something new, something that is a sign of the creative power of God. I’m not implying that this diminish the passionate love we may have, or the unselfishness with which we give to each other. I’m talking about the origin of that passion and the model of that unselfishness.
Marriage and every other form of discipleship, as well, make significant religious demands on us, particularly trust and openness. Because we are taking a step into the unknown, they require a profound act of trust, trust in ourselves, trust in each other, and most important, trust in God. Marriage also expects openness on our part, an openness to give and an openness to receive. All too often we associate these characteristics with children. While children may possess them because of their innocence, we too must possess them because we too have been created in Christ.
Sounds pretty simple doesn’t it?
You would think with all the material experience we have, there would be fewer broken marriages today. I suppose there will always be that complexity in dealing with life and all its challenges. But somewhere in that complexity there is that simple answer.
Do we acknowledge God in our life, and in a special way as part of our marriage?
Do we really consider all the days of our life “forever”?
When our actions spawn from these thoughts, we begin to take on a special approach when solving our differences.
Some may say what does this have to do with me; I’m too young, or too old for marriage. Some may be considering ordination, or a life of service to God. Regardless of our situation, today’s readings affect all of us. Because in some way we are all part of the family, the family of God, and these same requirements are asked of all God’s children, as members and co-heirs of his family. We are all called to be faithful to the Lord our God all the days of our life.
The challenge for you and I are to avoid sin and learn how to “tolerate” the sinfulness of this world in which we live as Jesus did. To tolerate does not mean we must accept it, it means we live together among the darkness in hope of seeing that darkness come to light in those we tolerate. Unhealthy and abusive behavior are never to be tolerated. One spiritual exercise that hopefully will help us to tolerate one another’s weakness and strengthen our bound with Christ would be to meditate on Jesus’ unconditional love, his never ending love for each and every one of us, and the gift of freedom that comes with this love, the gift to mess-up and still be loved, the gift to fall short of his expectations and still be loved. The gift of His willingness to “tolerate” our sinfulness and still be loved.