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The scriptures tell the story of Elijah’s call to Elisha and of the call to follow Jesus. The ultimate call to us as Catholics is to imitate the mystery of the cross. What does this mean? To the person without faith the cross is the triumph of evil: abandonment, betrayal, rejection, despair, and hopelessness. With eyes of faith it is a supreme sacrifice of love: a love that turns the darkness of evil to hope and deliverance. Abandonment and rejection are turned into a promise: “This day you will be with Me in paradise.”
How are our lives to imitate this mystery of the cross? It is very difficult given the trends of our time. In the July first “Baltimore Sunday Sun” (page 4A) there is an article about people’s attitudes defining a successful marriage. It is entitled, “Many say ‘I don’t to kids.’” It compares the trends of 1990 with today. The importance of having children was ranked number three out of nine. Today it is eighth on the list. Number nine was agreement on politics. What family do you know where they agree on politics? The primary concerns now are “sharing household chores, good housing, adequate income, a happy sexual relationship, and faithfulness.”
Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of Rutgers University’s National Marriage Project said, “The popular culture is increasingly oriented to fulfilling the X- rated fantasies and desires of adults. Child-rearing values: sacrifice, stability, dependability, maturity – seem stale and musty by comparison.”
The Galatians reading today reminds us we are called to live in freedom but not to turn that freedom into opportunity or into license. The secular world often confuses these two words as synonymous. Therefore, love becomes focused on “freedom” which is really license. More and more love becomes disconnected from responsibility, dependability, and especially sacrifice.
How can I (a salesman, a teacher, a construction worker, a lawyer, a parent, “I’m just a kid!”) imitate the cross? “The Five Languages of Love” (by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas) help us to live the mystery of the cross. What are they?
Words of admiration, appreciation, affirmation, is the first language. Do we have a language which only speaks criticism?
Acts of service speak a second language. When a spouse comes home from work and begins to take care of the children while the other spouse prepares dinner; this is an act of service. One spouse cleans up after dinner while the other takes care of the evening baths and makes sure the kids have brushed their teeth. It can be a battle. The opposite language can be one of disconnection, distance, or withdrawal.
Receiving/giving gifts is a third language. Some people find it difficult to give; others find it hard to receive graciously. Which is yours?
Quality time is a fourth language. This means one turns off the television, computer, cell phone, i-pod, or whatever! It is when we look each other in the eye and talk about the important things in life. I do not mean “the bills, the financial investments, the kids, the in-laws.” Psychologists say that the average American couple share about seven minutes a week in this level of communication. Most married couples I speak to say to me, “Joe, that’s way too much.”
Physical touch is the fifth language. It is a language of a hug, a caress, or a simple kiss. The opposite language is one of distance, disconnection, separation, or withdrawal.
Which language do you speak? It could be just one of the five; it could be several of them. Which language does your spouse speak; or do you only concentrate on the language they do not speak?
Pray for vocations. A priest’s life is called to imitate this mystery of the cross. How? The paradox of the cross is alive today. The “enlightened and the itelligencia” say the clergy are deceivers and yet we are truthful; we are unrecognized and yet acknowledged; as dying and yet we live. The world of license says we are poor and yet we enrich many; as having nothing: no family, no home, and yet we possess all things. This is a paradox that can only be seen with faith.